I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
