forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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