Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
