i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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