Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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