I wish I only lived at night.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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