I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
