My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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