i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
