I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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