just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
