Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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