dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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