whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
