So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
