I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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