Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
