Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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