I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
