Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize