How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
