WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
home. puking in laundry basket.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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