Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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