she smelled like a LAN party
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
