I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
