I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
