i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
