I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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