she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
