Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just cropdusted the office
why do cheetos always look like penises
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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