From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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