this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
