I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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