Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Small penises have feelings too.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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