Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
