So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
