Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
