Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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