i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
