You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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