Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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