She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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