butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
