So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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