wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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