He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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