oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
