What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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