What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
