You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
