That's intense
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
