Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
