the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
