So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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