I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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