No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
