well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
