he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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