He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I need moral support for this bender
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
This is classic penis vs brain.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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