dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize