He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
