We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
