Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize