your room smells of hookers.
And success
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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